Ammar's journal 5

1st poem response: Dear Ma, by Jana

There was a few things I liked about this poem. Firstly, I liked how he incorporated much emotion into it. For example, he said how he was "crying" when his mom left and felt "calm" when she returned. I also liked how it was structured, the first stanza seemed to have more of a past/reminiscent feel to it, while the second stanza was about him growing up and his present day maturity. Finally, I really liked how the poem ended, I felt it provided great closure and had a nice conclusion feel to it. "I left home, but when I come back, I'll be there for you" wrapped the poem up quiet nicely.

2nd poem response: Dear you, by Remy

I really enjoyed this poem. It seemed like it was coming from a very genuine place and you could feel the emotion in Remy's reading. I really enjoyed how his reasoning for why the girl remained nameless in the poem, I found that to be extremely creative and it brought a unique feel to the poem because it, in a way, kept us guessing who he was talking about. I also liked his description of her smile, how it's "not ear to ear" but it's "subtle" that brought very good imagery to the poem. The final thing I'd like to comment on was the ending. The way he ended it was touching and you could feel the positive feelings he has for this girl. It had a very hopeful feel to it when he said "someday I hope I can share this with you". This made me feel the Remy someday hopes that things will work out in his favor and he can be with that person. This was a very relatable poem, because as young people I feel like we've all pursued someone that was with someone else.