Gruss
DEAN YOUNG (B. 1955)
Whenever I`m
not drunk enough
is a waste
of time.
I carry
within me a hypnagogic dawn,
maybe the
insulation gnawed by rats,
maybe I`ll
never be back
Ha ha to the
mating swans.
Ha ha to the
sepulchral golden slime
that shines
and shines and shines.
This party
started long before I arrived
with the
last of wacko youthful chatter,
a curious
crew, prone to slam-dance depression.
what`s the
matter? Don`t know, maybe so
much
hilarity is a strain on us or at least
we like to
boast in loopy communiqués
to those who`ve
seen through us
and love us
for what they see,
maybe some
trees, a packing factory,
some
secretive birdie hopping about
with a
grasshopper in its mouth.
I don`t know
what I`d do without you
although
that`s how I spend most of my time.
It`d be
unbearable otherwise,
like a
vacation without sleeping pills,
without some
creaking rain
abating the
granite`s breakdown.
Such a
paltry gesture, my surrender.
(From Writing Poems, pages 74-75).
Jherek Cummings
English 2266
Mike Lohre
3/8/2014
Explication
Dean Young`s
poem Gruss
Asteroid Analysis
The point of
view in this piece is in first person. The speaker seems deeply content with
death while being on drugs or drunk. The speaker seems to compare the
narrator`s moment/life/death to the weathering of granite rocks. The triggering
moment seems to be the drunkenness from the start of the piece. The tone is
deep-heavy-dark-stonned-drunk-rocked-druged-tired-babbling-sleepy-think-dream-gloomy-nature-economic-youth-aged-corrosion-decay-deaht-life-linear.
The piece gets my blood flowing and gives me a feeling of teeth falling out
from gnawing on granite rocks . . . pacified sleepiness. The speaker is the
early morning drunkard. The motivation incident is the drunkenness and lucid
dream state of sub consciousness. There are no uses of the letters j, x, or z.
If you put those three letters in this order . . . j, z, x, and say it as a
word . . . it almost sounds like my name Jherek. I found a way to be left out
of this piece in a literal sense. There are 26 lines. I wonder if the author
was 26 years old when he wrote the piece. There are 163 words in this piece, if
you count the (-) word, “slam-dance”, as two then 164 words. There are between
4-10 words per line. There is one stanza, 16 end-stops, and 10 line breaks. One
example of line iambic is “maybe the insulation gnawed by rats”. Some words I
had to look up were, communiques (communicative press for public or private),
hypnagogic (drowsiness before sleep and lucid dream like states of hearing and
seeing things), sepulchral (associated with gloominess, graves, burial vaults,
funerals, and any burials), and gruss (loose accumulations of fragmented
products formed from weathering granite rocks). Some repetitions that I noticed
are the words without, us, shine, and maybe. Each line varies from the others
in syllable choice or quantitative syllable choice. I found quite a bit of
alliteration in this piece . . . using words like
sepulchral-slime-shines-started or sleeping-pills-some-granite`s-
gesture-surrender. I found much assonance as well, such as boast and those. There
is consonance like, drunk and dawn. A cliché that I picked up on was, “is a
waste of time./ I don`t know what I`d do without you / although that`s how I
spend most of my time”. There are few rhyme words like, rats and back, slam and
dance, or sleeping and creaking. I noticed some onomatopoeia as well, such as,
gnawed and creaking. The only anthropomorphized part that I could find is that
granite`s decay is being equivocated to life as a human or better yet, the
narrator, at least it seems that way to me. I also
found some paradox in being drunk and everything else being a waste of time.
How do you carry with yourself, “hypnagogic dawn”? How can you look through
something and see anything, “to those who`ve seen through us / and love us for
what they see”? My favorite paradox is the part where the narrator can`t be
without but is without all the time, “I don`t know what I`d do without you /
although that`s how I spend most of my time”.
The irony is that the speaker is making observations of abstraction
while being the central view point of the piece. I think there is juxtaposition
with the surrendering to corrosion being easy for granite, like it is easy to
surrender to corrosion for the narrator. The archetype of this piece is
granite. The use of synesthesia is prevalent with words like, drunk, time,
within, hypnagogic, wacko, youthful, chatter, curious, depression, and a few
more. I found one simile, “like a vacation without sleeping pills”, that seems
ironic as well. Why would you want to sleep during vacation? This piece is full
of negative capability with the use of words like, waste of time, gnawed by
rats, sepulchral, wacko, depression, strain, least, loopy, without, unbearable,
breakdown, surrender, and depression. I think that the piece contains quite a
bit of pessimistic negativity. I think I also notice some ambiguity or
obscurity as well. As soon as the narrator carries the hypnagogic dawn, it
seems that many readings of lines such as, “maybe the insulation gnawed by
rats, / maybe I`ll never be back”. Perhaps I don`t know exactly what is meant
by insulation and gnawed by rats. What does it refer to? And where exactly may
the narrator never be back to or from? Much of the piece has ambiguity / obscurity because I get new meanings from
each reading. One thing that I found to be concrete was . . . ha ha . . .
granite. The jokes on me. I wondered about the implications and ars poetical that
I felt in this piece. I wonder if the gesture and surrender is the writing of a
poem. Is the curious crew slam-dancing depression through hilarity and boasting
in loopy poems? I`m not sure if that is the hidden implication or not. There
are many ways to read this piece. It is certain that the narrator needs some
sleep. One way to look at personification in this piece is by looking at, “some
creaking rain/abating the granite`s breakdown”, the abating being the human
quality and the rain doing the abating.
Here is the outline of my
explication:
The Moon Pigeons Are Off Limits
Point of View
1st person
Speaker
Seems
deeply content with death while being on drugs or drunk. Seems to compare the
narrator`s life/moment/death to the weathering of granite rocks.
Triggering Moment
Drunkenness.
Tone- Deep-Heavy-Dark-Stoned-Drunk-Rocked-Drugs-Tired-Babbling-Sleepy-Think
Dream-Gloomy- Nature-Economic-
Youth-Aged-corrosion- decay-death-linear. Gets my blood flowing, a feeling o of teeth falling out. Gnawing on
granite rock . . . pacified sleepiness. Early morning drunkard.
Motivating incident
Drunkenness.
Letters- no use of j,x,z. If you put those letters
in this order . . . j, z, x . . . it almost or resembles my name .
. . Jherek. This means something to me. Ha ha I am left out in a literal sense.
Just my fun way of looking at a piece.
Lines- 26. I wonder if the author was 26 years old when the piece was
written.
Words-163 or 164 if you count the (–) word, slam-dance.
4
– 10 words per line. In the “163”. . . if you use the one to minus the three
and get 2 you still have 6, so you could have 26, there. Ha ha.
Stanzas – 1
End-stops
16 end-stops.
Line breaks
10 line-breaks
Iambic
One line of iambic is “maybe the insulation
gnawed by rats”.
Diction- line logical- alphabetical sort of order. Abecedarian analysis.
and
and
arrived
at
and
a
about
a
although
a
abating
a
by
be
back
before
boast
birdie
be
breakdown
carry
chatter
curious
crew
communiqués-
a communicative bulletin in the press for the public or private people.
creaking
drunk
dawn
dance
depression
Don`t
don`t
do
enough
factory
Gruss-
a loose accumulation of fragmental products formed from weathering granite. A
rock. Asteroid.
gnawed
golden
grasshopper
granite`s
gesture
hypnagogic-
drowsiness before sleeping. Lucid dreams-out of body experience. Hearing and
seeing things while falling asleep (hypnagogic
hallucinations).
Ha
ha
Ha
ha
hilarity
hopping
how
I`m
is
I
insulation
I`ll
I
is
in
in
its
I
I`d
I
It`d
--------------NO
(J) words
know
long
last
least
like
loopy
love
like
me
maybe
maybe
mating
matter
maybe
much
maybe
mouth
most
my
my
not
never
of
on
or
party
prone
packing
pills
paltry
rats
rain
swans
sepulchral-
characteristics associated with grave/gloominess. Burial vaults-funeral and
burials.
slime
shines
shines
shines
started
slam-dance
so
seen
see
some
some
secretive
spend
sleeping
such
surrender
time
the
to
the
that
This
the
to
the
to
to
those
through
they
trees
that`s
time
the
us
us
us
unbearable
vacation
whenever
waste
within
with
wacko
What`s
we
who`ve
what
with
what
without
without
without
-----------------------NO
(X) words
youthful
-------------------------No
(Z) words
Repetition
Without, without, without. Us, us, us.
Shine, shine, shine. Maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe.
Syllables-233
Each
line varies from the others. Quantitative syllable choice.
Alliteration= whenever-within
Insulation-gnawed-never
Be
–back
Sepulchral
– slime-shines-shines-shines-started
Curious-crew
Dance-depression
Matter-maybe-much
Hilarity-strain-or
Those-seen-us-some-some-secretive-grasshoppers-its
Don`t-
I`d – do
Most-
my
Sleeping-
pills-some- granite`s- such- gesture-surrender
Assonance
Whenever-enough
Drunk
– enough
Carry-within-me
Hypnagogic
–dawn
Maybe-be
Ha-swans
Ha-sepulchral
Slime-shines
Party-started
I-arrived
Last-chatter
Crew-to
Slam-dance
What`s-the
Don`t-know-so
Hilarity
– is- strain
Boast-those
Loopy-communiques
To-
who`ve-through
Love-what
See-maybe-trees-factory-birdie-hopping
Secretive-in
About-mouth-without-although
Don`t-know-
Do-you
Of-otherwise
It`d-without-otherwise-like
Vacation-rain-abating-granite`s-breakdown-paltry
Sleeping-creaking-abating
Gesture-surrender
Consonance
Drunk-dawn
Long-last
Matter-maybe
Least-like-loopy
Clichés
“is a waste of time.
I don`t know what I`d do without you
although that`s how I spend most of my time”.
Rhymes
insulation – depression
rats – back
slime – shines- arrived
slam – dance
Don`t – know
loopy – communiqués – who`ve seen – they see – some trees –
factory – birdie
about
– mouth – without – how
don`t
– know
do
– you
time
– otherwise – like
sleeping
– creaking – abating – paltry
rain
– granite`s
gesture
– surrender
Onomatopoeia
gnawed
mating
slime
shines
started
arrived
last
chatter
slam
dance
depression
hilarity
strain
loopy
seen
hopping
spend
creaking
breakdown
Anthropomorphized
Granite`s decay being equivalent to life as
a human.
Paradox
Being
drunk . . . waste of time
How
do you carry with yourself, “hypnagogic dawn”? Yes, be in a state of
hypnagogicness.
“to
those who`ve seen through us
and
love us for what they see”,
“I
don`t know what I`d do without you
although
that`s how I spend most of my time”.
Irony
Self centered point of view. One`s
observations and abstractions.
Juxtapositions
Surrendering as easy as granite surrenders
to corrosion.
Archetype
Granite
Synesthesia
drunk
time
within
hypnagogic
insulation
gnawed
slime
shines
wacko
youthful
chatter
curious
slam-dance
depression
hilarity
strain
boast
communiques
seen
see
love
secretive
in
its mouth
without
unbearable
sleeping
vacation
rain
breakdown
surrender
Figurative Language
Simile
= “like a vacation without sleeping pills”,
Negative capability
waste
of time - gnawed by rats – sepulchral – wacko – depression – Don’t know –
strain – least – loopy – I don`t know – without you – unbearable – breakdown –
paltry – surrender.
Ambiguity/ Obscurity
As
soon as the narrator carries the hypnagogic dawn, it seems that many readings
of lines such as “maybe the insulation
gnawed by rats,/ maybe I`ll never be back”. Perhaps I don`t know exactly what
is meant by insulation and gnawed by rats, refers to. And where exactly may the
narrator never be back to or from? Much of the piece has ambiguity / obscurity because
I get new meanings from each reading.
Concrete
Ha
ha granite
Implications / ars poetica
I wonder if the gesture and surrender is
the writing of a poem. Is the curious crew slam-dancing depression through
hilarity and boasting in loopy “poems”. I`m not sure if that is the hidden implication
or not. There are many ways to read this piece. It is certain that the narrator
needs some sleep.
Personification
“some
creaking rain /abating the granite`s breakdown”. “rain” - “abating”.
So don`t take the moon for granite.
Jherek! Wow, if only you would put some effort into these assignments! Joke! Way to work and really put yourself into a poem. You learn so so much by just letting it go like this. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteI miss school. I really enjoyed having classes. When is the next open mic and where? I`d like to play music and sing sometime.
DeleteJherek, email me at mikelohre@gmail.com and let's get together and catch up!
DeleteThanks Mike. Thank you for everything.
ReplyDelete