Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Brian's Journal 5 Review

One of the two piece I selected was Katie’s poem Sunrise.  The poem has a strong narrative that brings to life the beauty of nature, and exposes things in life that we miss with the chaos of everyday life.  Katie uses the color and mass to paint a backdrop for the reader to envision with things such as: “fierce flaming pink”, “the sun a solid orb”, and“a crystal on morning’s necklace”.  She may not give use a defined placement of where we are located, but she expresses all that surrounds her environment.  She use details, like “crushing softly on the jagged rocks”, “the old dock”, and “dawn somberly watches the sun go”.  This would clearly indicate an open area, not corrupted by city obstacles.  I can see that Katie has developed this piece over time, and that she has spent many hours crafting the majesty of her Sunrise.  


My second selection of class pieces is Jherek’s piece.  I found the use of description and detail to flow extremely well in this piece.  I feel that this poem indicates much of what Hugo meant when stating, you should write the poem for you.  Jherek takes a moment that he remembers from childhood and allows the reader in.  Jherek may remember a moment to moment detailed account of the events, but even if he edited for the readers purpose it spoke of reality.  He’s able to play with the environment that surrounds him placing the reader in the time and setting.  There is exceptional words play such as: “From the make shift Nikes”, “the size of Jumbo Jets that collided”, “ancient make shift stairs”, and “birds perch view”.  All of these lines giving a bit of reality or allowing movement and life to the characters in the piece.  The object of a long piece is to keep the reader’s interest and I feel that Jherek achieved this.


  1. Thanks for the response! It's so great to hear what others were thinking when I read it, so now I know that I'm pretty much conveying the picture I want to. Thanks again!

  2. Thanks Brian,
    I had bunches of fun writing it. I remember that day well, but I did fictionalize things to make it . . . detailed, because the years gone by and I can`t remember everything. Thanks again.


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